CHURCH CONFLICT (A letter to my Friend)

Dear Timothy, (not his real name)

I appreciate your phone call last week. I was excited to hear about how God is using you to turn First Church around. (Not the real name of the church) I am also excited how God is using you to reach the lost in your town. It is clear that God has given you some special gifts. It also reveals what a “lay leader” can do.

However, I have some concerns I want to share with you. I hope you will consider the advice of an older man who has been in full time ministry for around 40 years. That does not mean I know it all. But at the age of 65 I have something to share with younger leaders.

First, I am concern about the history of First Church.

First church has a history of dishonoring pastors. Our organization has been involved with the pass three pastors of your church. First church sinned against them and dishonored them. Some of them were deeply hurt.

I am not saying that they did everything perfect. In fact, Dick and I warned one of the pastors to slow down. You are expecting too much, and moving too fast. He did not heed our advice. He then had to leave. This was very disappointing to us.  

Your leadership model may be the best thing for First Church. But God may not honor your efforts until the people repent for what they have done in the past. Repentance is often the first step in the recovery of a church.

Approximately three years ago a pastor led his church through the steps of repentance. They actually set aside a Sunday morning to confess their sins against their past pastors. Today the church is going in the right direction.

Remember both Daniel and Nehemiah confessed the sins of Israel even when they were not personally involved in the sin. Remember God honor both of their confessions. And God will also honor such a confession today.

Second, I am concern about the relationships of First Church.

Your church has a history of unresolved conflict. Some blame the past conflict on the pastors. But there is plenty of blame to go around. One of satan’s greatest tools is to get people to fight one another so that they cannot focus on the ministry.

But this is the bottom line. Most churches never learn how to practice the steps Jesus gave us in Matthew 18:1­5-20. If someone sins against me I am to go first to that person, and try to work out the problem with them. Or I am to overlook the offense.

Please understand Jesus gave these steps of discipline for a very important reason. He gave them not for us to prove our case. He gave these steps to bring about reconciliation between brothers and sisters. But more importantly, he gave these steps to bring glory to the Lord of the church, Jesus Christ.

What a difference it makes when we come together and listen to one another. What a difference it makes when we ask this question. “What have I done to hurt you?” Rather than always trying to prove a point.

Third, I am concern about the doctrine of First Church.

As an outsider I wonder, “Do the people at First Church really know and love Jesus?  Have they looked at their lives and realized they are doomed because of their sin? Have they looked at the cross and realized their only hope is in Christ Jesus? Perhaps things have not gone well in past because they do not know Jesus.

But I would go one step further. “Do they understand the doctrine of regeneration? Do they understand justification by faith alone in Christ alone? Do they understand sanctification? And do they understand imputed grace vs. infused grace? In other words, do they really understand the Gospel?

At first glance someone might say the above doctrines are unimportant. Just give me Jesus. But it is important for growing Christians to understand within time these important doctrines. And if handled correctly such doctrines will lead us to a better understanding of the beauty of Jesus.

Of course we find these doctrines in the Bible alone. So if your church succeeds they must become people of the Book. (I know you know this.) But if your people do not love the Bible and the preaching of God’s Word then your church will not glorify God.

Conclusion

From afar, I watch a church approximately two years ago fall apart. The church fell apart because they dishonored their pastor and his family. The church fell apart because they dishonored one another. The church fell apart because no one was willing to get the log out of their eye before they got the tooth pick out of their brother’s eye.

Please understand with my present duties all I can do to help is occasionally fill the pulpit. I have prayed in the past for First Church, and I will continue to pray for First Church in the future. And I know First Church could have a bright future.

Our Lord has given you a great challenge. But I know by the way you talk, you love the people at First Church. So keep loving them by showing them the Jesus of the Bible. He is the one who will change their lives and First Church.